Reflections on Loss
I have two very dear friends from different parts of my life who have been and who are dealing with lots of loss. Both have lost a person and/or several of their animal companions over the past month. Each has lost a total of 4 loved ones. A total of 8 between them in one month! Unbelievable!
I am listening and my heart is breaking with the intensity of their grief. I am wondering… what can I say that will help them? Are there magical words that will lighten their day? I want to honor their sadness and give them the courage to find the beauty in what these beings have given them – to appreciate how these beings allowed them to be of service and make the world a kinder place. It has been difficult for me to find the ‘correct’ words and to figure out the best way to give them support. Each person processes loss uniquely.
I find myself contemplating: what would support look like if I were experiencing the loss? Would I feel better if someone told me that my person or animal companion was in a better place because they were no longer suffering? I’m not sure. This feels very logical and I don’t think it would address my grief. Would I feel lighter if someone told me that this person or animal allowed me the opportunity to be of service? Maybe. This idea appeals to my desire to help people but does not address how much I am going to miss the person or animal. Does someone saying ‘I am so sorry’ appropriately give support? Would saying ‘sending love and prayers’ help? None of these feel adequate.
The answer may simply be to ask ‘how can I help you?’.
Big Hugs and Much Love,